Ghostbusters II (1989)

You can view my review of the first Ghostbusters movie here.

So, Ghostbusters II is still a racist piece of shit, but they try to redeem the message of white supremacy from the first film with a message of unity and love in the second. Umm, nice try, guys. Let’s examine this pitiful attempt:

New Yorkers are all assholes who are rude to each other, and rude people suck, right? Everyone just needs to love each other a little more! Well, in Ghostbusters II, the best way to spread love is to spurt slime all over their face. Who cares about the fact that the black man is still the uneducated slob doing the grunt work, and the random Scandinavian dude is an evil pervert? New Yorkers are rude to one another, and this is anti-American! Everyone needs a big load of love-goo in their face and maybe then we could all get along. Who cares about racism anyway. Certainly not the Ghostbusters.

RIP Farrah Fawcett

I am posting this tribute on my movie blog as opposed to my more regular-type one because I was under the impression that Farrah Fawcett was in movies. I IMDB’d her and apparently she was pretty much just on Charlie’s Angels. But since I don’t have a TV blog, let’s all celebrate Farrah, and what a total babe she was. Rest in peace, angel (geddit? it’s a pun).

Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

Awful, of course. But surprisingly, not quite as soul-destroying as He’s Just Not That Into You. Yes, I’ve seen both. I’ve also seen Bride Wars. Don’t unfollow me.

Re-Animator (1985)

This movie was written by H.P. Lovecraft. In case you do not understand the significance of that, it means that this movie is fucking insane. The girl who is in it probably appears with a top on for only 40% of her scenes. There is some incest, and a dead cat in a fridge. Also, the mad scientist uses a shovel to decapitate this dude and then one of those letter-spikes like they had in your high school office to stick the late-notes on to prop up his head which is what is happening in this picture. Also they use real cow intestines to strangle people.

Oh, and the plot is about this scientist who has a Dr. Frankenstein complex and brings dead stuff back to life except they all attack. I dunno. Does the plot even matter? There are real cow intestines in this movie.

Ghostbusters (1984)

This movie is about racism. The ghosts are symbolic of black people. The white people want to capture them and put them in this weird proton pack jail thing. The Ghostbusters, 3 white dudes and 1 white lady, hire this black guy to help them bust the ghosts to prove that they are “not racist” the way white people are always all, “I’m not racist, I have a friend who is half black” or like, “my IT support guy is Asian and I am totally ok with that because he knows all the Excel codes I don’t.” The black guy is uneducated next to these white scientists, and he stands around smoking and being all, “I’m the token black guy, I drive the car and say token black guy lines.”

Anyway, they all escape and almost take over the world, which is exactly what would happen if America opened their jails and let all the black people out. But the Ghostbusters win, reinforcing white superiority.

This movie is actually really funny because it’s got Bill Murray in it when Bill Murray was still hilarious, before he started just being the awkward old man, except in that movie with Scarlet Johansson when he is the awkward old man in a good way. I would probably watch this movie again, or see the sequel even though I hear it sucks, but I just think everyone should know that this movie is definitely all about racism.

The Game (1997)

This movie is about a game, one of those games that actually isn’t very fun at all sometimes, like when you play Monopoly with someone who is a total jerk and buys all the proporties that you want and cheats at banking but then in the end you manage to get Broadway with one of those little plastic hotels on it and you win. Except this movie has more shooting and car chases.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (2007)

This movie was written by this guy who was physically paralyzed, so he wrote it by blinking… wait… what? Yeah right. There is no way somebody could write an entire book by blinking. I refuse to review this movie on the grounds that it is a sham.

Amelie (2001)

I am reviewing this movie because I am watching it in the shop for about the 13th time, give or take a few. I like this movie because I am a girl, and we are genetically predisposed to like it. I do not have the scientific proof to back up that claim but I dare you to argue it.

The plot of this movie is pretty much exactly what you would want your life to be like if you lived in Paris. What more can I say? Fall in love.

I Wouldn’t

I only watch movies that are worth blogging about.